Ask a Chick Flick

tiffanypluscompany asked: (Disclaimer: This isn't chick flick related, but chick show related, so close enough). I just found out that my lady friend likes, and has always liked, Dawson better than Pacey. She only watched the show until they went to college, and we both agree that Jen Lindley was the hottest (obvs), but still, she adamantly likes Dawson better because "he wanted to do something with his life, wasn't an idiot, and his pants fit". I'm scared this is a huge character flaw. Dawson, seriously?! AACF, help me.

But there is something to be said for pants that fit and a dude who wants to do something with his life.

Like, if I could find a guy whose pants fit and who wanted to do something with his life, I’d hold onto him, Dawson or not.

AACF’S Message to the Young People

Anonymous: 

So it’s my junior year of high school which supposedly is the most important year in the whole college process, but for some reason I just can’t seem to get myself motivated. Instead I find myself watching stupid videos on youtube and obsessing over a certain boy band. Any advice on how to get myself focused again?

I wish I could be more help, but I can’t infuse some sort of DNA code into your already functioning DNA that would aid you. I don’t want you to become a more obsessive person who overachieves and who gets into the perfect school. All I’ve learned from those people (Elle Woods, Tracy Flick, myself) is that no matter what validation you seek from academia, academia will let you down. It’s run by flawed and broken humans who exist much as you do but with more baggage and damage. Because they’re older (“wiser”) and sadder and jaded and gross.

College is great. Be prepared for it. Do the best you can in your studies while in high school, but don’t burn out because then, you’ll hate all the good parts of learning. Learn because you want to, because you love knowledge, not because you think it will ensure a large income— right now, everyone’s futures are in turmoil. The recession still looms, and should our economy be better by the time you graduate college, you still must contend with this: a corporate ladder that may or may not reach a glass ceiling; a globalized economy where corporations are treated as people; countries where people go hungry or without homes when there should be enough for everyone.

Soapbox done, and the best of luck,

Ask a Chick Flick 

USED TO WANT YOU SO BAD!

Anonymous asked:

My friend has a serious crush on my other friend. The problem is that he can’t stand her - even as just a friend. How do I tell her that he’s not playing hard to get without hurting her feelings?

While I haven’t been updating, I’ve been thinking about this question a lot. In a bad mood, I think, “Your guy friend should be the honest one here.” But I don’t know the exact circumstances. Maybe he doesn’t realize your friend has a crush on him; maybe he does and thinks that he’s given enough hints that he just can’t stand the girl. 

However, when I’m in a good mood, I think, of this video which is an ultimate chick flick in and of itself:

Part of me wants you to spoil your friend’s fun like Jane does in 27 Dresses for her sister and the man she’s in love with. Another part of me knows that revealing truth can do more damage to friendships than good (which, of course, is usually a testament to the strength of one’s relationship)— although, honestly, I do think it’s your guy friend’s responsibility to be direct with your other friend.

Otherwise, you get to be the bearer of bad news, and if you recall, in 27 Dresses, Jane was lambasted for ruining her sister’s marriage. I don’t know why exactly, as it was a bad match, but whatever! People don’t like the truth! I WISH THEY DID.

So, maybe instead of being the messenger, encourage your guy friend to tell the truth. But have some Female Empowerment songs, especially of the Break Up/Rejection variety. Break Up songs will work because whatever fantasy your friend had will now be a shambles.

Just remember: “What goes around comes around, baby.”

Ask a Chick Flick 

Ask a Chick Flick is Alive— BARELY!

Sorry for the lack of updates, folks! I have a few questions waiting to be answered, and I’ll accept more at any time. Lately I’ve been moving around a bit, and now I’m in the process of Moving! Back! To! NYC!

I also got food poisoning and puked a lot.

My best friend showered me with love and kissed my head even though it probably smelled like puke.

HEE.

To the person in Alabama who found this blog by searching for “why do men need to fuck other men” I have an answer for you:

Because they want to.

And so do you! 

Heroine Chic.

detrimental-cerulean asked:

At the beginning of this year (my freshman year of college) I met an amazing guy. We’ve been dating for almost half a year now and we’re still going strong [read: we’re madly in love]. However, summer is only 11 weeks away for us, and there’s about a 6 hour drive between our summer homes. Any advice on how not to become a moaning, weepy mess all summer?

Congratulations! You have the cutest problem! Like one of my best friends S. would say: “Oh no, my pony got sick from eating too much gold.”

 So, I’m not going to recommend movies for this. Instead I’m going to recommend that you go out and live like a chick flick— except less of the “Trying to Find Love” chick flick, more of the “Two Best Friends Hanging Out and Trying on Clothes.” If you don’t have a best friend, this summer might be a good time to find one. You guys can shop together (or thrift together), share fattening pizza, and talk seriously about body image issues in America— even if your best friend is a dude.

And when you get bored of that, you’re going to go on adventures. You’re going to climb a tree. Maybe you’ll go out into the woods like some sort of Artemis.

Maybe you’ll get your hands dirty fighting to save yourself or the world. After all, doesn’t love want to drive you to share love with others? Isn’t the next step a love of and compassion for humanity? Maybe you’ll build houses in Peru with Habitat for Humanity. Maybe you’ll go to rock shows and scream, “WHERE ARE THE WOMEN IN ROCK?” Maybe you’ll trespass somewhere to set factory farmed animals free. Who knows?

Having a boyfriend is awesome. But so is having space from the boyfriend. So is rocking out no matter who is around you.

Happy Hunting,

Ask a Chick Flick

PS Six hours isn’t that bad. You’ll find that out soon enough.

Spoiler Alert: It’ll Be Okay.

Anonymous asked:

I just got rejected from my dream school, my relationship with my best friend is in tatters, and I feel like everything I wanted my teenage years to be hasn’t materialized. Any advice on recalibrating?

First of all, welcome to the rest of your life!

Just kidding, I hope. 

But themes that seem to originate in your teens may follow you into your twenties. Be prepared for that. Remember, college, no matter where you go, will be a recapitulation of many of those same Relationships in Tatters, Rejection from Jobs (or College Elections), and Not Enough Making Out With Handsome People. Or Too Much Making Out With Handsome People.

So, without further ado I present

Chick Flicks That Inspire Hope When Nothing Else Does:

1.) My Girl 2

The sequel to the rather depressing My Girl, a sequel that may be one of the best sequels out there (um, you know, right up there with The Godfather II).

 Maybe it’s because I was born there, but I find upbeat movies set in Los Angeles something beautiful— the sun, the palm trees, the New Age freaks (my kind of people, actually) running boutiques— even the vanity of it. It’s a fleeting kind of beauty, but in some way, it stays with you. And finally, Vada Sultenfuss seems to be free from grief.

 2.) Sabrina

There’s nothing I love more than a heroine trying to commit suicide at the beginning of a film— and then have that film pretend it never happened! Seriously, though, you have to see Sabrina for the light-hearted way it handles everything, including what appears to be some really strange relationships.

But oh, there’s love promised, even if it seems to be all muddled and strange! And oh, the Givenchy dresses…

 3.) Amreeka

I don’t know if I consider Amreeka a chick flick. I think there are some sentimental tropes and themes that people would dismiss, much in the same way “chick flicks” are dismissed by men (and women) everywhere. But I do think it’s a message of hope and is kind of sweet in a terrifying way.

More importantly— and this isn’t a judgment on your situation— it helps to remember that there are a wider range of terrible things happening in the world. I don’t mean that what this character goes through is more damaging than what you’re going through; I just mean, it helps to remember you’re not alone in suffering and that some suffering is even bigger than we could devise for ourselves. Some suffering is institutional and backed by corruption and war.

4.)  About a Boy

I bring this movie up often because I think the soundtrack feels right, the movie feels right, the acting feels right, and the ending makes the most sense. And if it falls into every “chick flick” trope, then so be it. And if the intent of the book-turned-movie was to be a chick flick for dudes, so be it. All I know is when I’m feeling down, I can watch About a Boy, and something about it just has me cracking a smile when I thought smiling was impossible.

And it gives me hope that all these impossible people in the world will finally, maybe, grow up.

*

I hope that helps. But if it doesn’t, remember, you’ll be given more opportunities in the future to fight these awful feelings. And in order to recalibrate, you have to live through it and keep living!

GOOD LUCK. LET ME KNOW IF COLLEGE WORKS OUT ANYWAY (spoiler alert: it probs will).

XO,

Ask a Chick Flick 

Let’s have a heart-to-heart, brah.

cupidisadouche asked:

So, I met this guy online and although I have absolutely the lowest and most suspicious expectations of online dating EVER, I really like him. The problem is that right after I messaged him online, he moved to Iraq. To work for an NGO and help with refugees, etc. Whatever. So we’ve been IMing and I REALLY LIKE HIM. Not sure how to proceed or if I should bother getting invested; he’s there for a year at least. With some vacay. But really? LDR from the get go? Does this seem wise, AT ALL? Thanks.

Things could be worse. You could fall in love with someone from the very near— but very impossible— Future, who owns The Lake House you used to own.

To make a long and very bad story short, they wait for each other, and somehow time makes sense; they sync up, or maybe time was never slow, just part of another dimension. You know how it is. Every once in a while you get access to an alternate reality where you can find the love of your life, if only you wait out fate, even when you’re embarrassing yourself.

Here’s the question, though: if you’re going with your instincts, then why bother being impatient? You can go on some more shitty dates on okcupid, or you can pause and think about what’s so great about this guy in Iraq? 

1.) If it’s because he’s inaccessible, maybe take a break from dating and just be single— stress-free single, not having to find someone to access.

2.) If it’s actually his personality, wait it out and see how he feels about you and what his take on the situation is— and if you want to wait it out some more until he comes back, that’s great.

3.) If you don’t know, keep talking until you do know.

In spite of my cynicism, I believe in fairytale endings. I believe that sometimes— once in a blue moon, maybe, or maybe after a Mayan apocalyptic prediction or two— true love wins out over very real obstacles. But how would any of us ever know when our closest friends and even strangers are urging us to “go out and check out the dating scene” and “don’t wait around for Mr. Right”? In a society that dismisses intuition and has traded hope for love with hope for marriage, then why would you wait around for someone overseas?

Because he sounds hot and interesting, that’s why. And because you deserve it. 

Love,

Ask a Chick Flick 

“It’s like my mom says, ‘The weak are always trying to sabotoge the strong.’ “

Anonymous:

I have an acquaintance who seems to know everything… and feels the need to tell me how to date/make a career/dress/etc. How to I tell this bossypants to buzz off?

You may have made the mistake of asking a bossy advice-giver to give advice about bossy advice-givers.

In defense of people like us, I have to say this: we can help it, of course, but we just don’t want to. To us it’s the same as when a math teacher makes a mistake on the chalkboard in a junior high Algebra class. Not only are we incensed by this error, but we want to make sure that this person is truly capable of molding the minds of 20 seventh graders. Otherwise, we want our taxes back to go towards something else, like state-sponsored free ice cream.

Now, I know Election isn’t strictly a chick flick, but it does deal with this concept: a powerful young woman who is so supremely annoying in her aggressive and bossy self-direction that even her teacher hates her enough and tries to sabotage her student body presidency campaign. 

TMI.

Anonymous:

So there’s this girl - she’s in a bunch of my classes and we’ve always been chummy. But suddenly she’s starting to tell me waaaay too personal tidbits about boys, her sex life, and various other super private things. And then the nail in the coffin: she dropped the BFF word last week. I just don’t feel the same way. How should I tell her that she’s making me feel uncomfortable?

I seriously blame “Sex and the City” culture for the TMI aspect of your problem.

Like, I’ve heard some pretty terrible things about the sex lives of my friends, and you just can’t repress some of that, no matter how much you try. One of my closest friends ever pretty much tells me about her vagina’s ph balance on a day to day basis, but we’ve known each other a decade, and that’s okay. You grow used to it. We talk about the worst things possible and still manage to love each other.

But I believe in standards with new friends! At the very least, let’s work on boundaries with new folks in our lives.

Like, in Easy A. Olive ends up in a situation like yours, where her mortal enemy Marianne is suddenly calling her BFF and clinging like saran wrap to a greased-up porn star.

Fortunately, it all falls apart when Olive gets blamed for Marianne’s boyfriend’s chlamydia or whatever. And then you realize Olive and Marianne are not compatible as friends because if your friendship can’t survive allegations of chlamydia and infidelities, then what is it supposed to survive? The Apocalypse? Please.

Just, you know, sabotage your friendship. Tell her biggest secret, and fulfill her worst fears, and soon, soon, she will be shaken from you in the most passive-aggressive, godawful way.

HA HA IT WILL BE FINE.

LYLAS,

Ask a Chick Flick